From my observations, I can see some of the reasons why Obama made the changes he did to his speech.
To me, the changes he made… we’re for numerous reasons: to open with a more warm welcome to the audience, bring in emotion and feeling into the piece, and to further progress some of the topics he brings up in his speech.
A good example I saw in his piece was the additional one at the end of the article (2nd to last one). He originally talked about in his piece on“… some of measure of security and fair play that only government can ensure” (Obama). He then changed it to “… and an acknowledgment that sometimes government has to step in to help deliver on that promise.”
The reason why he changed it was because the first one sounded like government was more of a grasp, unsure thing; if the government is the only thing that can bring security and fair play, I’d be scared out of my mind because it sounds more of a threat than something to be ‘ensured’ about.
With his new change, it sounds happier, more patriotic. “…to help deliver on that promise” gives me the warm, secured, sure feeling that the government will help our country.
Between the two, it’s a change in the interpretation of the mood within the statement. Obama did a good change with this revision.
Nice analysis and examples, Joe.
ReplyDeleteGood points throughout, esp. the line about the government.